we're blogging at a bar
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
