i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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