You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
