he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize