After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize