I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
