A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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