i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
