he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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