Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The power of my boobs compel you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
