didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
