You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
