The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
