And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
