my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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