So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
