Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
