My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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