i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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