and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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