She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
