its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
