she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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