Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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