why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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