If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
