Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
