Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
