i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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