Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
