dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
