how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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