I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
