I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I lost the right to judge tonight
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize