My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
