i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Small penises have feelings too.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
