Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
