We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
