i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
