i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
