Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
