I swear she didn't look like that last week.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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