Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
