I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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