there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
