Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
