Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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