South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
