so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
