Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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