If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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