fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
