oh god the rape fog is back!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
