I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize