Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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