You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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