the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
