the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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