is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
