So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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