Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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